


Here There Be Monsters

by therumjournals



Series: Kirk/McCoy Age of Sail AU [2]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: AU, Age of Sail, M/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-02
Updated: 2010-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-17 20:28:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumjournals/pseuds/therumjournals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy had predicted they’d encounter the Kraken.  He just hadn’t thought it would be so…flirtatious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here There Be Monsters

McCoy had warned the captain. In fact, he was pretty sure he had mentioned it several times, so he didn't know why Kirk was so surprised when the first tentacle slid over the rail with an unsettling slurping sound. He knew Jim was surprised, because his first reaction was to let out an embarrassing shriek and try to climb onto McCoy's back.

McCoy rolled his eyes and shook him off, taking firm hold of his shoulders. "Jim! Get a hold of yourself!"

"Bones!" Kirk squeaked. "What the fuck is that thing?!" He pointed an accusing finger at the stern, and the look on his face would have been almost comical if he hadn't also appeared so terrified. Oh hell, it was still pretty amusing. McCoy suppressed a smile.

"I believe that would be the Kraken, Jim."

"The...uh...the Kraken? You mean, the one you, uh, the one you..."

"The one I warned you about, yes, that very one. The only one, I believe." He glanced toward the rail, wondering if perhaps they should spend less time talking and more time shooting and stabbing. But, so far, he could only see one tentacle, and it appeared mostly curious, sliding and poking its way around the first few feet of deck. He looked back at Jim, who appeared to have calmed down somewhat, and was now giving the tentacle that same assessing look.

"Do you think we should, uh, shoot it? Or something?"

Normally, Jim Kirk was assertive, action-oriented, fearless, ready to take control in order to ensure that Bones experienced mind-blowing orgasms on a nightly basis. Wait. McCoy shook his head, which was always, _always_ going there, and began again. Where was he? Oh yes, assertive, action-oriented, ready to take control in order to ensure that the safety of his crew came first and to fiercely protect his pride and joy, the Enterprise. But McCoy could understand his hesitance. After all, Kirk was used to dealing with bloodthirsty pirates and the occasional hurricane - not curious, be-tentacled sea-friends. McCoy thought back on everything he'd heard about the Kraken. He could clearly remember a conversation with a few grizzled old sailors back at the pub. What had they said? "The Kraken, oh, we could tell you tales about the Kraken, m'boy! We learned a thing or two, we did. Most importantly, if the Kraken's ever got a hold of your ship, the one thing to remember is - " Hmmm. That _may_ have been when McCoy threw up on him. Damn!

McCoy pulled himself out of his little reverie to shrug his shoulders at Jim, but Jim was no longer in front of him. With a flash of panic, McCoy glanced down the deck to see Kirk edging closer to the searching, oozing appendage. "Jim!" he called, following quickly. "What are you going to do?"

Jim shrugged, not taking his eyes off the stern. "I was thinking I'd poke it," he called back.

"Jim, I'm not sure you should..." Actually, he was pretty sure Jim _shouldn't_ , but he was cut off by a wave of Jim's hand.

"It's okay, Bones, you can stay back. I've got this."

McCoy raised his eyebrows. Obviously he was going to stay back! If Jim was so curious, he could be the one to go throwing himself into danger and.... "Dammit!" McCoy shook his head and stomped across the deck toward his reckless, foolhardy captain.

When he got to the stern, he found Jim kneeling less than a meter from the tentacle, watching intently as it poked at the deck and squirmed its way across the boards, leaving a glistening trail of slime in its wake. Jim reached out a tentative hand and McCoy put his own hand over his face, spreading his fingers so he could peer through them. The tentacle inched closer, until it was close enough for Jim to reach out and touch, which, of course, he did. He extended his hand, palm out, and closed his fingers around the very tip of the tentacle. McCoy looked on in frozen horror. What was he....he wasn't going to....yes, apparently he was - he shook the goddamn tentacle! In his mind, McCoy was screaming - "JIM! THIS IS NOT A MERCHANT TRANSACTION! THIS IS THE GODDAMN TERRIFYING MONSTER OF THE SEA, DESTROYER OF SHIPS AND MEN!" In reality though, McCoy was standing stock still on the deck with his mouth hanging open. He was pretty sure he hadn't taken a breath for a good three minutes. That was okay. Maybe he would faint before he had to see his captain and lover sucked whole into the gaping maw of the sea devil. He was yanked out of his thoughts by Jim's voice, calling out to him in a tone that was positively...positive. "Hey Bones, check this out! It's friendly! Look!" He stood up, still holding the end of the tentacle. And he must have inadvertently given it a culturally inappropriate tug, because the next thing McCoy knew, Jim was yelling something that sounded like "Yeeeeep!" and being dragged backwards across the deck.

"Bones!! HELP!!" McCoy burst into action, running toward the captain as he was yanked abruptly toward the railing. Jim managed to hook an arm around the rails as the tentacle disappeared over the side, but he sure as hell didn't look comfortable. "Bones," Kirk gasped as McCoy got close. He could see that the tentacle was wrapped firmly around Jim's stomach. The water below churned as the rest of the Kraken's body thrashed beneath the surface. "Bones! Your knife...pistol...anything!"

"Right." McCoy went for both, pulling the knife out of his boot with his right hand and the pistol out of his belt with his left. He shot wildly into the water, making sure to aim _away_ from Jim, whose eyes were wide with fear as he kicked wildly at the tentacle. McCoy leaned down next to the rail and reached out with the knife. "I...I can't reach!" He heard the panic in his voice.

As always, Jim was the one to do the quick thinking. "Hold me," he gasped, and Bones looped an arm around his shoulders as Jim pulled the knife from his hand and stabbed downward, violently. "AHH FUCK!" he cried, as the edge of the knife slipped against his skin, but then McCoy was falling back onto the deck with Jim in his arms, and the tentacle dropped, crippled, into the sea.

  
They lay on the deck, panting, fear and adrenaline rushing through them. Jim had landed with his full weight on top of McCoy, but the doctor didn't seem too concerned, as his arms were wrapped tightly around the captain.

"Bones...ugh...it hurts."

"I know, Jim, it's okay," McCoy murmured, hoping his tone was soothing underneath the receding panic. "You cut yourself, but I'll be able to fix it up."

"No," Jim grunted, "I mean, you're squeezing me...really, really tight."

Shit. McCoy relaxed his grip infinitesimally and Kirk took a deep, wheezing breath. He looked lovingly down at McCoy. “You saved me!”

McCoy’s glare countered his loving embrace. “Goddammit, Jim. What kind of an idiot goes shaking hands with the Kraken?! What is wrong with you, you reckless, irresponsible, moro-mmmff.” His tirade was cut off by a very enthusiastic kiss, which he returned with a press of his lips and a resigned sigh.

Then Jim was climbing off of him, pulling him up from the deck, and tugging him toward their cabin, pouting. “I’m hurt, Bones.”

“I know, Jim,” Bones said kindly. “You thought you could charm even the Kraken. Probably imagined the two of you would be frolicking about, cavorting with mermaids before the day’s end. Must be quite a blow to your ego.”

Jim glared at him sullenly. “It tried to kill me!”

“Yes, well, you’re not dead and let’s be glad of that. Now, let’s go take a look at that slice you’ve given yourself.”

Jim pulled his shirt off as he stepped into the cabin, glancing down at his side. “It’s barely a cut, Bones, I’ll be fine. I don’t even think I need any medical attention.”

“Don’t you?” asked Bones, his voice low, as he maneuvered Jim gently into a sitting position on the bed. Bones skated his hands along Jim’s sides and over his broad shoulders.

Jim slid his hands over the doctor’s hips and looked up at him with a shy smile. “’s not the mermaids I was interested in, either,” he said.

“I know, Jim,” McCoy murmured into his hair, and Jim gave his hips a sharp tug, pulling him onto his lap. Jim wrapped his arms around McCoy’s back as the doctor straddled him and they kissed deeply, the desperate kiss of almost-loss and near-death that sailors so often sought.

Bones pulled away to remove his shirt, and Jim leaned back on his arms, grinning up at him lazily. “Hey Bones? Wanna plunder my booty?” he asked, his eyes twinkling.

McCoy lunged at him with a growl, but Jim was ready for it, tipping backwards onto the bed and pulling Bones down on top of him. “What did I tell you about using pirate metaphors?” McCoy grumbled into his ear.

“You said to stop using them in bed,” Jim whispered back. “Unless I’ve had a very rough day,” he amended, smiling and thrusting upwards with his hips, pressing his erection into McCoy’s. McCoy swallowed his groan and ground back, one hand scrabbling at their trousers while the other gripped Jim by the back of his head, holding him still while he plunged his tongue into Jim’s willing mouth. They gasped together as their cocks touched, skin against dry, hot skin. “Fuck,” Jim breathed. “No more pirate metaphors, I swear. Just, please, Bones, fuck me.”

Bones was already coating his fingers in oil and slipping them over Jim’s entrance. “Jim,” he panted, “need you so much.” He slid one finger in smoothly, pleased to feel that pleasure and lust had Jim relaxed around him. “Fuck, Jim, don’t ever leave me,” he choked, pulling back and sliding back in with two fingers as Jim moaned and arched off the bed.

“Bones, god, you feel so good, feels so fucking good inside me.” Jim clenched around his fingers, urging him on. McCoy gave his fingers a perfunctory twist and pulled them out, nudging the head of his cock against Jim’s hole. He took a deep breath and pressed inside, swallowing hard as he relished the tight heat of Jim’s passage surrounding his slick cock.

“God, Jim. Want you so bad. Want this to last all night,” he said as he slid all the way in, his balls just brushing against Jim’s warm skin. He looked at Jim, at the desperation in his lust-blown eyes and at his cock flush against his stomach, achingly hard and dripping. He’d be lucky if Jim could last five minutes. He pulled back slowly and thrust shallowly, wrenching a groan from Jim. “More, Bones,” Jim begged. “Harder!” Bones dropped his resolve and pulled out again, this time plunging in so hard he heard the bed creak with the force of the thrust. He watched Jim’s face, enjoying the reaction he was getting, as Jim’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Fuck!” Jim cried, as Bones slammed into him.

“Fuck, Jim,” he grunted, just as Jim yelled “No, Bones, fuck! FUCK!” McCoy glimpsed something out of the corner of his eye just as Jim sat up and yanked him forward, slamming him down on the bed and pressing a hand over his mouth. McCoy ended up on his back, his cock cold and aching, but any complaints about the matter died in his throat as he stared up at the tentacle undulating a few feet above the bed. The cabin window had been pushed open and the Kraken seemed to be searching for something, sniffing the air (could a tentacle _sniff_ , McCoy wondered, his brain momentarily blocking the terror) before pointing downward toward the bed.

Jim was whispering something, and McCoy strained to hear. “Don’t move,” Jim murmured out of the side of his mouth. “Maybe it won’t find us.”

That was optimistic, McCoy thought, as the tentacle extended deliberately toward the bed, or more specifically, toward Jim’s chest. Jim inhaled sharply as it landed with a wet smack, slowly sliding down his chest toward his throbbing cock. McCoy watched on in horror as the tip of the tentacle curled around Jim’s length and gave what appeared to be a gentle squeeze. Then it wrapped around again and gave two quick strokes, and at least Jim had the decency to shoot Bones a mortified glance as he came all over his stomach with a choked whimper.

That was it for McCoy. First the Kraken had attempted to kill his lover, and now it was stealing Jim’s orgasm right out from under him! He lunged at the tentacle, beating at it with his fists. “Get off of him, you vile brute! Back the fuck off, despicable hell-beast!” He grabbed hold of the tentacle, attempting to throttle it as he raged. “I swear, I’ll tear this off and stuff it up your arsehole, you fiend!”

Jim had backed up against the head board, watching in wonder as McCoy started beating the tentacle against the wall. McCoy’s face was red, his eyes were bulging, and there was a vein in his neck that was threatening to blow. The whole scene was almost comical and by the time McCoy let go, shoving the tentacle out the window with a final burst of threats, Jim hand over his mouth and his shoulders were shaking as he tried to contain his mirth.

Bones turned on him and Jim immediately sobered. “What’s so funny?!” McCoy snarled.

Jim shook his head, trying desperately to keep a straight face. “N-nothing, Bones. Thank you…for defending my honor,” he managed to say, before he couldn’t take it anymore and burst into laughter.

McCoy’s stomach twisted and he lunged for the window, sticking his head out just in time to release copious amounts of vomit down the side of the ship. It was lucky that he did, too, because the Kraken had been considering making another go at the window, one tentacle slinking upwards toward the sill when Bones evacuated his innards all over it. The doctor watched in sick satisfaction as the tentacle stiffened and promptly plunged back into the depths.

McCoy pulled his head back inside and wiped his brow. He looked miserably at Jim. “I threw up on it.” He wasn’t sure if it was a confession or a boast, but either way, Jim’s face softened and he pulled Bones into his arms.

“You did great. Thanks, Bones.” He glanced out the window into the dusk, biting his lip. “Maybe it’s gone for good now.”

***

  
The Kraken followed the Enterprise for the next two days.

Kirk and McCoy leaned against the back rail, glaring at the v-shaped trail that let them know exactly where the beast was. Well, that, and the occasional rogue tentacle that flipped into the air with a spray of sea-water. It hadn’t attempted any more tentacle-probing of the ship, but they kept their eyes on it just in case. Kirk was mostly just curious, but McCoy seemed to think that if he glared at it with one eyebrow raised and occasionally called out insults to its mother, the Kraken would for some reason be less likely to bother them.

McCoy also refused to sleep as long as the Kraken was in their sights. He drank Cookie’s atrocious black coffee by the bucketful and paced the deck, flinching when Jim even suggested engaging in some midnight hanky-panky.

“It’s not enough that I had to be scarred for life by seeing that…that _thing_ get you off right in front of my eyes,” McCoy exclaimed in response to Jim’s invitation. “Now I’m going to spend my life doubting my sexual prowess because of a goddamned tentacle!”

“It’s no contest, Bones,” Jim said, running his hand soothingly over McCoy’s bicep. “I’m pretty sure I could never get used to the slime. Plus, terrible grip, really.”

Bones glared at him, but couldn’t help but feel somewhat pacified by Jim’s reassurances. He took another swig of his coffee and resumed his pacing.

When the third day dawned, they still hadn’t managed to evade the persistent Kraken, and Jim was getting desperate. If Bones didn’t get some sleep soon, he was liable to go insane and start writing love letters to the damn thing.

Kirk had been pacing his cabin for an hour when he heard a knock on the cabin door. "Enter!" he called, with a glance at McCoy, who was huddled in a chair, practically vibrating as he clutched yet another mug of coffee to his chest.

"Scotty!" Kirk gestured the ship's carpenter to come inside. "What can I do for you?"

Scotty twisted his hat nervously in his hands. "Captain, I...well, I'm not sure if you noticed this, but...were you aware that the Kraken's been following us for about two days now?"

"Eep!" The captain and Scotty both turned toward McCoy, from whence the startled whimper had come. He glared back with eyes that were wide and bloodshot.

"Don't mind him," Kirk told Scotty. "He's a bit jumpy, is all. And in answer to your question, yes, I'm well aware that the Kraken's been following us. Do you know if any other crew members have noticed? I wouldn't want a shipwide panic."

"Not that I know of, cap'n. So, I take it this means you have a plan?"

McCoy barked out a laugh. Kirk gave him a warning glare.

"A plan, right," Kirk answered. "We're, uh, we're working on a plan right now, actually."

"Perhaps I could be of some service in that area."

"Oh? What do you know, Scotty?"

"Well, can you tell me, sir, do you have any idea WHY the Kraken's so interested in the Enterprise?"

Kirk ran a hand over his face in frustration. "That's just what I can't figure out. Look," he said, leaning closer, "don't tell anyone else about this, but, well - two days ago, the Kraken got a hold of me - tried to pull me off the ship. Shook me up a bit, I'll admit it. So I just assumed, naturally, that it wanted to kill me." Scotty nodded, as calm as if the captain had been discussing the weather on the horizon. "But that night, well...this I don't really want to admit to, but...let's just say the Kraken tried to get a little frisky with me, if you catch my meaning."

“Get a little FRISKY with you?” McCoy shouted, straightening in his chair. “Is that what you call-“ Jim shot him a death glare and McCoy managed to clamp his mouth shut before he permanently ruined the captain’s reputation.

Meanwhile, Scotty's face had taken on an expression of poorly-disguised amusement. "Of course!"

"What?" Kirk looked at him desperately.

"It's April!"

"It is. And that means...?"

"Spring, of course! Spring, Captain! The flowers are bloomin', the birds are chirpin', and, well, you know what they say - in the Spring, a young Kraken's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love!" Kirk frowned. No, he was pretty sure they _didn't_ say that and, wait a second, had the ship’s carpenter just quoted slightly revised Tennyson at him? Kirk blinked a few times as he tried to wrap his mind around what Scotty had said.

"So you're saying...?"

"That love is in the air, Captain! The Kraken can feel it, down to the very tips of his tentacles!" McCoy made a disturbing gurgling sound. Scotty continued, unfazed. "It's instinctual, of course. The Kraken is compelled to find a mate, and well, you've got to admit it, the Enterprise is the finest piece of sail on these waters!"

Kirk's eyebrows climbed up his forehead as realization slowly dawned. "You're saying the Kraken....wants to mate...with my ship?!"

"Aye, Captain!" Scotty exclaimed. The man was far too excited about the whole thing, as far as Kirk was concerned.

Kirk ran a hand over his eyes and resumed his pacing. "Scotty. Do you have any idea how we can...put the Kraken off our scent, as it were? Dissuade it from its....wooing?" Kirk couldn't believe he'd said that. Neither could McCoy, if the almost painful-looking arch of the doctor's eyebrow was any indication.

"You wish to scorn the Kraken, is that it?" Scotty said, his mouth turning down around the edges.

"Well, no, I mean, I wouldn't necessarily put it that way, but...yes, yes, I guess that is what I'd like to do." He looked at Scotty sharply. "Any ideas?"

Scotty stroked his ginger beard as he considered the problem. Finally, he lifted a finger, struck with inspiration. "Got it!"

Kirk and McCoy both leaned forward a little. "What?! What is it?!"

"We need to get the Kraken drunk."

***

Kirk had known from the beginning that McCoy wouldn't be too fond of this idea. And if he hadn't known, the glare piercing him from across the deck as he oversaw the assembling of the rum barrels would have given him his first clue. To be honest, Kirk wasn't thrilled with the idea of losing the rum, either. However, Scotty had laid out his plan, and the captain had to admit that his logic was quite sound. They'd toss their entire cargo of rum into the mouth of the Kraken (or into the general area of its mouth, at least). The Kraken would drink it (it was common knowledge that the Kraken had a taste for good liquor), get drunk, and either pass out or become distracted by something shiny and wander off. When it came to in a week with a raging hangover, the Enterprise would be far removed from these waters.

There had been one lingering question. "Scotty, how do you know the Kraken won't try to find our ship again? I mean, you said it yourself, the Enterprise is a beauty. What if he's still carrying a torch for her when he comes to his senses?" (McCoy had long given up trying to convince the captain or Scotty that the Kraken could not be said to have 'senses', a 'crush', or 'an itch that can only be scratched by a good fuck and a night out on the town').

Scotty knew firsthand how easy it was to fall deeply in love with the Enterprise, so he considered Kirk's question a valid one and pondered it seriously until he was struck with brilliant inspiration. "I've got it! We make...an introduction!"

"An introduction?"

"To another ship. And I've got just the perfect one in mind."

Kirk had listened to Scotty's plan with rapt attention, ignoring McCoy's mutters that they were now playing "matchmaker to a goddamn overgrown octopus." Kirk grinned widely, slapped Scotty on the back, and told him he was a genius.

Which had led them to this moment. McCoy stood as far from the stern rail as he could get, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face as he watched the men pull every last barrel of rum from the hold. Kirk tied a rope around his middle and stood on the rail, hooting and hollering until he was sure he had the Kraken's attention. Then he shouted "DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!" and the men began dumping the barrels overboard, popping them open so the Kraken could get a taste of what was inside. The water churned as the Kraken thrashed excitedly, his toothy, slimy mouth occasionally visible as it surfaced to swallow barrel after barrel of rum, while he wrapped his tentacles around any that threatened to float away. Kirk leaned over the railing, watching with a manic gleam in his eye and muttering "come on, come on, drink up, you bastard!" He glanced back and motioned for Bones to come over. "Bones! C'mere, you've got to see this!" Bones sighed and approached cautiously, understandably hesitant to put himself within tentacle-grabbing distance. Finally, Jim reached over and yanked him the rest of the way to the rail. Quick as a wink, Kirk slipped his hand into McCoy's back pocket, pulled out the doctor's flask, and emptied it over the side.

McCoy's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "Jim! That was the last of it! My rum!" He gripped his hair with two fists and looked mournfully into the churning waters, as if he could refill the flask by sheer force of will.

Jim grinned and gripped his shoulder. "We'll get more, Bonesy, I promise. I just figured, we'd better make sure we get the job done right the first time, eh? Eh? Bones!" He snapped his fingers in front of McCoy's eyes, but the doctor was unresponsive. He appeared to have gone into shock. Kirk eased him into a sitting position on a pile of rope and turned back to Scotty at the rail. "Well, Scotty? Are you ready for phase two?"

Scotty nodded eagerly and gestured for the men to heave a dilapidated longboat over the rail. As Kirk watched, he considered the events that had led to the longboat’s discovery.

Two months ago, the Enterprise had encountered the pirate ship Delta Vega off the coast. Fresh from an extended shore leave (Captain Kirk was quite fond of those), the Enterprise crew hadn't been eager to get involved in a skirmish right away, and had instead chosen to play a little game of cat and mouse, staying just within the Vega's sights as they ran for the horizon. When the moment was right, they’d picked up speed and pulled ahead, then circled back as the pirates continued to chase them in the wrong direction. When the Enterprise returned to its original course, the crew was startled to come upon a single longboat, floating miserably in the middle of the sea and crewed by two nearly-starved pirates. Or ex-pirates, they discovered, after pulling them onboard, barely coherent, one completely silent and the other babbling something about Captain Archer's pet parrot. "They left us with a bean. ONE BEAN!" Scotty had wailed, for it was Scotty that they'd found in that longboat, along with his mate Keenser. After reviving Scotty with rum and all the hardtack he could eat (Keenser, oddly enough, had insisted that he was still full from the bean), the Enterprise crew had learned their story and welcomed them. They'd proven to be valuable crewmembers ever since, and Kirk still couldn't believe his luck as he watched the longboat being pushed over the rail, Delta Vega clearly carved on its bow and a few barrels of rum strapped in for good measure.

The idea was simple, even if, to McCoy’s mind, deeply flawed. When the Kraken awoke, he’d find the boat (floating merrily about nearby or lodged in his craw, either way worked, really), and he’d attempt to track down the ship that he would assume had given so generously of its rum – the Delta Vega. McCoy’s main question – namely, whether they actually thought the Kraken could _read_ \- had been studiously ignored by Kirk, while Scotty insisted that the Kraken would be able to _smell_ the other ship, like some sort of tentacled bloodhound. The conversation had ended with McCoy stomping off to find more coffee and write his will.

Now, as McCoy watched the longboat disappear over the stern with the last of the Enterprise’s rum, he could only shake his head and hope Jim and Scotty’s ridiculous plan worked. He, for one, never wanted to see another tentacle in his life.

The splashing sounds at the stern grew quieter as the Enterprise moved away from the Kraken’s rum orgy. McCoy allowed himself to take a deep breath as he saw Jim walking toward him, a triumphant smile on his face. He pulled Jim into his arms and they held each other close, letting waves of relief wash over them.

“Jim,” Bones murmured into his hair. “I think it’s about time we took another one of those holidays.”

Jim nodded against his chest. “Where do you want to go, Bones?”

“I don’t care, Jim,” Bones sighed. “As long as we can’t see the ocean. And the ocean can’t see us.”

***

 **Epilogue**

“Bones! Check this out!” Jim called from the porch. Bones climbed out of bed, where he’d been lying awake and content for the past hour, wrapped a sheet around his waist, and wandered to the door.

“What is it, Jim?” he asked, scratching his head lazily. He took in Jim’s half naked form sprawled in a hammock, then looked out over the endless jungle. He smiled. No ocean in sight.

“A courier just brought us the dispatches. You’ll never believe this – ‘Two sailors from the notorious pirate ship Delta Vega were arrested in the town square yesterday for excessive public drunkenness. When questioned about their ship and crew, they babbled incoherently about sea monsters, tentacles, and unrequited love. They were admitted to the Pearsall Criminal Lunatic Asylum, where they will remain until the matter can be pursued’.” Jim dropped his head back and laughed. “It worked, Bones! Our plan worked!”

Bones shook his head and slipped into the hammock beside Jim, running a hand along his golden skin. “I’d _just_ managed to put that thing from my mind, Jim,” he said ruefully.

“And now?” Jim asked.

“And now, I think I’ll need two more weeks of rest and relaxation to recover again.” He winked at Jim and kissed him lightly.

“Two more weeks?” Jim slid a hand over the curve of Bones’s hip and gave his ass a squeeze.

“At _least_.”

Jim wrapped his arms and legs around Bones, completely enveloping the doctor’s muscular frame. He planted a kiss on his cheek and whispered in his ear, “Permission granted.”


End file.
